This is US!: October 2015

UPDATE: I was just about finished with the post when my computer decided to restart on me and erase over half of my post >:( so it has taken me forever to get back where I was.

So here is the birth story, as you can imagine it will contain medical information and gross icky details. If you have a weak stomach or you are offended by medical/birth/pregnancy related details then you are welcome to move along. Also it is REALLY LONG!!

So since I haven't posted about this pregnancy AT ALL. Let's do a little catch up...

Lizzi was 5 almost 6 months old and Curtis started talking about feeling like we needed to have another baby. Me, still emotionally and somewhat physically recovering from becoming a mom in the first place, wasn't so keen on the idea. I kept putting him off, telling him he was nuts and they were going to be too close, I couldn't fathom the idea of having two children let alone two babies! He kept pressing telling me he felt similar to how I did about us getting pregnant with Lizzi (if you need a reminder that is all in her post about our struggle to get pregnant). He felt like he was being prompted to have another baby. I told him I didn't want to pray about it, I didn't want to go to the temple about it, I was saying no it isn't time. Fast forward a few weeks, I had been feeling weird... hormonally off if you will. I got angry really quickly and would almost immediately apologize (anger is my pregnancy hormone of choice by the way). I was tired and run down and couldn't seem to catch up on my sleep. I started having thoughts that I might be pregnant I said something to Curtis about it and I saw a glimmer of hope in his eye. He asked if I would take a test tonight or in the morning. I told him I would take one that night but it may not work so I may end up taking one in the morning too. I could see the anticipated excitement on his face, hoping that it would be a positive test. He got in the shower and I took the test.... and I watched that thing like a hawk! In previous pregnancy tests I would walk around the house and do whatever I could to pass the unbearable 3 minutes. This time, I was not letting it give the answer without me watching it's every move like some how it would change the outcome one way or the other by me staring at it. I watched the test line come through and started to panic! I tried to talk myself down, if the test line comes through but the control line doesn't then it's a faulty test and I would have to retake it! That was it... the other line wouldn't show it was a faulty test... 2 minutes and 50 seconds... the second line showed up! I was shocked and distraught! I groaned as loudly as possible shoved the test across the counter and squatted down and let the tears flow. Curtis peeked out at me and said "So..... it's positive?" I just sobbed and let every fear take me over, how was I supposed to take care of two babies? How was I going to handle pregnancy again this soon? Did I really have to go through labor and delivery again?(Not that it was terrible just a tiring thing to go through). Just a lot of fear and what ifs.... Curtis just held me while I sobbed and as we went to bed he told me he was trying to be sensitive to me because he could tell that I was terribly upset by the outcome; however, he was really really excited about having another baby. I was touched that he was so excited to be a daddy again. I love that he loves being a dad! I know that in the way of the world this isn't the coolest thing to be a dad or something that most men shy away from. So I do appreciate that he is excited, I was trying to come to grips with it myself. I don't know that I really did... not to say that I don't love McKenna because I do very much and I am so blessed to have two beautiful daughters, I just didn't adjust to the idea until she was here. The pregnancy went on and I was much more sick than I was with Lizzi, much more tired, and in a lot more pain. I chalk some of that up to being pregnant so close but it was much harder. I suffered from depression most of the pregnancy but thankfully it wasn't severe enough to need medication. I was also in a lot of pain physically. I don't know if it had to do with being pregnant so close, having to haul and chase Lizzi all over, or if it was just a different pregnancy than Lizzi. McKenna always sat super low in my hips I couldn't roll over in bed or get out of bed without being in immense pain. I had to waddle the first 30 minutes or so after getting up in the morning. I could feel her little face in my pelvic bones and I was worried she was going to be born looking like Sloth from Goonies. As you can see she didn't thankfully.

Anyway so at my 37 week appointment on Friday August 7. I had had some itching on my stomach and I figured it was PUPPS like I had with Lizzi and didn't worry much about it. My doctor saw the rash too and wanted to run the blood work on some of my levels just to be sure it wasn't anything to worry about (she did the same thing with Lizzi). She wasn't worried either thinking the same thing as me because it was the exact same time as when the PUPPS showed up with Lizzi. She said I would get a call if it was something of concern otherwise I wouldn't hear anything. We had our induction scheduled for Monday August 17th if she didn't decide to come before then. That way Curtis could be home for 10 days and we could have things settled for Lizzi instead of waiting for whenever baby saw fit to show up. Also a little bit of selfishness on my part I was ready to be done being pregnant. I went back to work on Friday and finished up my day had a normal weekend nothing special. Monday August 10th that morning I was at work and my cell phone started ringing, it looked like the hospital number but I wasn't sure why they would be calling I didn't have an appointment until Friday so it shouldn't be a reminder call yet. I just ignored it and figured they would leave a message if it was important. Then my desk phone starting ringing with the same number... now I was concerned. I answered and it was my doctor, not the office staff but the actual doctor. She told me remember how we did blood work on Friday? Well my levels came back and they were not good, she talked to the high risk labor and delivery doctor about the levels to see her opinion. So she said it was just a matter if they were going to monitor me closely or if they would induce me. I was freaking out! I was not ready to be induced... she said the high risk doctor wasn't quite worried enough about the levels yet and just to monitor me. She really wanted me to be at least 39 weeks before the induced me. So to make sure McKenna wasn't in any distress or things weren't wrong with her I went in that day to get a bio ultrasound done. We passed with flying colors the ultrasound tech said she looked perfect and there was nothing to worry about. My doctor prescribed me a medication to hopefully help lower the levels that were a concern. I had ICP which is basically my liver wasn't functioning like it was supposed to, it was cause bile to back up causing the rash and itching on my stomach. It could cause stillbirth if not handled properly, my doctor was watching for anything questionable and she will induce me. I would go in again on Wednesday Aug 11th to do another blood test to see if the medication helped at all and a stress test to make sure baby girl wasn't in distress.

The medication seemed like it was helping, I didn't really itch anymore which I thought was a good sign. We went in Wednesday they took my blood and hooked me up for a test and everything looked great on the test. The blood work had to be sent out this time and I wouldn't hear back until late Thursday evening if there were issues. I had my 38 week check up on Friday Aug 14th as well as another stress test to make sure that I would be ok until my induction date for Monday. We didn't get a call so we didn't worry and went into the appointment Friday August 14th. The blood work came back normal so the meds did their job, I was starting to loose my mucus plug and was dilated to a two. Hoping to have McKenna naturally I was ok if she came early so we had my doctor strip my membranes to see if she would come on her own before Monday. I went off to get hooked up for my stress test, everything seemed to be going fine. The doctor came in and looked over the test said everything looked fine and she would see us on Monday for the induction. I got unhooked and started to get ready to leave, when she came back in said hold on and looked at the charts again. She said that McKenna's heart rate was dipping when I had my contractions and she didn't like the look of it. She told me go upstairs we're having a baby.

The next little bit was a whirlwind and a blur. I had to call my coworker that I was training to cover for me and tell her I wasn't coming back I was being induced right then. I called my mom and I am sure I made no sense to her at all. Curtis called his mom and told her what was going on. Lizzi was at the sitters and we weren't expecting this to happen... even my hospital bag was still at home. Curtis worked out detail stuff and I was just a basket case. I was so scared and so nervous. We went upstairs to get checked in and the nurses asked if I was being monitored and I told them I think I am being induced. Apparently that was a great day to have a baby because labor and delivery was full. They put me in a monitoring room to start and went to talk to Dr. Smith to see what the plan was. I got changed into the hospital gown and hooked up to the monitors. Curtis had to work a few things out with his mom and went outside to get things settled with her so she could take care of Lizzi and such. I was left in the room alone... with all my anxiety and fears... the heart rate monitor for McKenna wasn't always catching her heart beat so I was in tears and so scared. I called Curtis and told him to get back asap because I was so scared that it kept loosing her heart beat. He came back and the nurse said they wouldn't have a room available for a while, she asked if I would like to go home and have them call me when a room was ready. I said if I could that would be best, that way I could make sure Lizzi was set and ready for us to be gone. She said she would get the ok from Dr. Smith and she left Curtis was trying to calm me down but I could tell he was scared too. He kept telling me this was for the best he would rather have McKenna here and know she was safe than worry about whether or not she would live until Monday. The nurse was back within 10 minutes and said the Dr. Smith said absolutely no leaving I was to be induced as soon they got me into a room. So the nurse said it would be a while I could order food and eat but to keep in mind that there is a good chance it will come back up again so choose wisely what I wanted. Curtis ordered some food, I was still in a panic. He asked if I wanted a blessing I said yes please. He gave me a blessing and I instantly felt better and felt like I could have a handle on this. At 2:30 we were moved to a room to have the induction begin. Because labor and delivery was busy so was the kitchen. Food didn't make it up until 2:45 so I ate 2 grapes and that was it. They started the pitocin at 3pm. The contractions were fine I talked through most of them and had no problem relaxing, this part was much easier than with Lizzi. We kept thinking we were going to have a walk in the park labor and delivery, I only pushed 15 minutes with Lizzi and she was here number two should be even better. Wishful thinking and apparently we needed humbled a little bit. I had requested my angel nurse Joni from when I had Lizzi but as luck would have it she was getting off shift at 6pm so she wouldn't be around. She did however stop by at the end of her shift to visit with me. I'm telling you people this Joni lady is the best!

The nurse I did have was Brenda, she was nice and helpful and listened to what I wanted but she was no Joni. Labor was going great, the on call doctor came in and broke my water when I was dilated to a 4 just like with Lizzi. Things were starting to pick up but still going great, my parents came and I was able to visit with them a little bit. They left for a little while since I would probably be a little while longer and the contractions were starting to take a lot of my focus. Curtis called them back once I started getting ready to push, my dad waited in the waiting room but we had my mom with us to take pictures and videos. I was trying to fight the urge to push knowing I wasn't at a 10 yet, they called my Dr and told her to come, she got there and checked me I wasn't quite to a 10 but the urge to push was getting stronger so they moved the cervix out of the way and let me start pushing. It felt good to push but it also felt wrong. I didn't feel like she was moving hardly or that I was getting the right pressure. My Dr even commented on it trying to correct my pushing, it got better but still seemed like nothing was happening. My Dr then said that McKenna had her head turned sideways and wouldn't stay face down so the cervix would move over her head while I was pushing but then once I stopped it would cover her head again. My Dr would turn her face down while I was contracting and pushing trying to get her to stay face down but it wasn't really working. She said she could keep doing that but it would be really painful for me. I had no idea what she was talking about it didn't hurt at all, I was already in labor it was the contractions that hurt. This went on for an hour and a half then my Dr said we may need to try something different. She was saying I would need an epidural or a spinal block and a c-section. I said neither. She said I might not have a choice and asked us to think about it. So I told her I was going to go natural. She checked on the monitors and McKenna was doing great no distress at all so she said I could try for another half an hour but then we needed to make a decision. She left the room and I asked my mom what I should do, she said an epidural isn't the end of the world honey and you have tried really hard. I asked Curtis and he felt like he couldn't really give me an answer. So we tried to push another 20 minutes or so and still no progress. My Dr came back and asked what I wanted to do, I started crying and said I guess we'll do an epidural but I really don't want one. She said we would need one and it may not even do the trick either, it may end up being a c-section whether we liked the idea or not. She left to go tell the anesthesiologist to get the epidural ready. Curtis asked if I wanted another blessing I said of course I do. My mom held my hand through the contractions while Curtis gave me a blessing. He blessed me with comfort and to trust the medical professionals and that McKenna would safely be born to us. I had a contraction during the blessing. Neither of us felt like that was telling us I could have her naturally or if it meant that harder things were to come. He ended the blessing and I felt another contraction and said I needed to push. I started pushing and the nurse screamed at me to stop.... STOP? WHAT DID SHE MEAN STOP I WAS PUSHING! She ran into the hallway yelling for my Dr. Finally McKenna had moved and was crowning. My Dr ran in and was frantically trying to dress herself with one hand and use the other to hold McKenna's head. She got in position finally! McKenna was born at 11:00pm, the nurses said her head was born at 10:59 but her body was born at 11:00. She was 7 lbs, actually was 6 lbs and 15.7 oz but so close they called it 7. She was 19.5 inches long. Had lots of dark hair and was positively gorgeous! I was so relieved that she was here. I reopened my scar from when I had Lizzi so I needed a few stitches to close that again but nothing serious at all. I felt great! I had stuck to my guns and I had an all natural birth and a beautiful baby to show for it. My dad came in and saw her, they brought me dinner and then they had to go home. When we were going up to our room, I kept having nurses comment on how tough I was, I didn't feel like it was anything special I just wanted my baby here.

So even though it was no where near what we had planned, she was healthy and beautiful and I was able to have her naturally. I am so thankful for a husband that honors his priesthood, without that blessing who knows what might have happened. I am so thankful for my beautiful daughters they are my everything and I love them and I love watching them grow and learn. I am truly blessed!